


The Bears and the Bees

by Moontyger



Category: Yuletide (Anthropomorfic)
Genre: Gen, Yuletide Treat
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-12-22
Updated: 2012-12-22
Packaged: 2017-11-21 23:43:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,031
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/603362
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Moontyger/pseuds/Moontyger
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Yuletide gets letters.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Bears and the Bees

**Author's Note:**

  * For [AdaptationDecay](https://archiveofourown.org/users/AdaptationDecay/gifts).



Yuletide's office was both old and small, but cozy just the same. The wooden floor was scratched and a little worn, but polished to a beautiful shine. Despite the snow outside, the office was comfortably warm due to the large fireplace along one wall – a fireplace lovingly bedecked with evergreen and holly at this time of year.

Yuletide's wooden desk was just as old and scarred as the floor, but Yuletide loved it. It was the sort of desk that was filled with innumerable compartments and cubbyholes, some of them hidden. The sort where, if you knew what you were doing or were simply very lucky, you might produce something unique and magical from a tiny space you'd never seen before. Yuletide, of course, knew exactly how to do it.

But today wasn't the time for such things. Today Yuletide was engaged in a much more mundane task: reading the mail.

Yuletide received quite a bit of mail at this time of year, what with all the requests from authors dreaming of stockings filled with fic. But today, two envelopes stood out.

The first was large and made of rather heavy cream-colored paper, too fancy for most to use for something so mundane. It was addressed by hand and the handwriting was both neat and old-fashioned. When Yuletide opened it, the paper inside matched the envelope. It was really more like stationery than the sort of printer paper more commonly seen these days.

However, the letter inside was far more businesslike than the paper would suggest. It even appeared to have been typed on an actual typewriter. “I haven't seen something like this in years,” Yuletide mused to itself as it began reading.

* * *

Dear Yuletide:

This law firm represents Bears, Inc. If you are represented by legal counsel, please direct this letter to your attorney immediately and have your attorney notify us of such representation.

You are hereby directed to cease and desist all defamation of our client's name and reputation.

The Bears are valued members of the Yuletide community. Contrary to your statements, they neither submit sign ups with no details nor misuse the choice of 'any character' on said sign ups. They do not leave up placeholder letters for the entire Yuletide season and they are not known for letters requesting crossovers with ineligible fandoms nor ones engaging in character bashing or contradictory demands.

Under state law, it is unlawful to engage in defamation of another's character and reputation. Defamation consists of:

1) a statement that tends to injure reputation;  
2) communicated to another;  
3) that the speaker knew or should have known was false.

Accordingly, we demand that you (a) immediately cease and desist your unlawful defamation of Bears, Inc. and the ursine members of same and (b) provide us with prompt written assurance within ten (10) days that you will cease and desist from further defamation of Bearish character and reputation.

If you do not comply with this cease and desist demand within this time period, the Bears hereby declare their intent to boycott Yuletide and limit their participation to other holiday fanfiction exchanges.

We appreciate your prompt attention to this matter.

Sincerely,

Paddington, Pooh, and Yogi  
Attorneys at Law

* * *

Yuletide frowned thoughtfully and set the letter aside, only now noticing that its fingers had become somewhat sticky. Yuletide sniffed them, then cautiously licked. “Marmalade. Of course.”

After a brief trip to wash its hands, Yuletide returned to the desk and the second letter.

This one was in a thin air mail envelope and, indeed, the stamp on it indicated it had arrived by that method. Just as with the previous letter, the paper inside matched the envelope, although this time, it had clearly been printed with a laser printer and there were dried brown smudges near one edge of the paper. From these signs, Yuletide knew who must have sent this letter and began reading with a feeling of dread.

* * *

Dear Yuletide:

We have been approached by a representative of Bears, Inc. and frankly, we're concerned. While we Hippos have received exemplary treatment during the period of our participation in Yuletide, it has not escaped our notice that their complaints are justified.

We, who know the secrets of Yuletide authors best, know well that while some recipients sign up in a manner that makes assignments more difficult, this behavior is in no way exclusive to Bears.

The Bears assure us that they bear no ill-will to any authors, not even voksen, and we see no reason to disbelieve them.

Accordingly, we wish to register our protest. Should the Bears continue to be the victims of this sort of character assassination, we Hippos will have no choice but to forgo Yuletide as well. In that event, perhaps we and the Bears will set up an exchange of our own.

But given the length and quality of our association, we do not believe that will truly be necessary. What would Yuletide be without the Hippos? And where would we be without Yuletide? It would be a great loss to all concerned and we regret even having to make the threat.

Sincerely,

The Hippo Consortium

* * *

Yuletide set this letter aside, too, and sat motionless at the desk, staring into space and wondering how best to deal with this situation. Yuletide might have sat there a great deal longer had its email not chimed, drawing its attention.

“3_goats_gruff sent you a message,” Yuletide read, but when it clicked to go to its inbox, it received nothing but a varnish error. Yuletide sighed. It didn't need to read the message: the meaning was clear enough. “The goats are siding with the bears as well.”

Still considering, Yuletide made a fresh pot of coffee and poured itself a cup before returning to its desk. Its initial response had been leaning toward flanic, but now that it had considered, Yuletide decided that was premature.

Yuletide opened a document in its word processor and began typing. “Dear Bees...” So the Bears, Hippos, and Goats wished to boycott Yuletide and form their own exchange? That was all right. There was an entire zoo of animals who'd be thrilled to participate. Yuletide was certain of it.


End file.
